My Term Four Recount.

Kia ora

Here is the recount I wrote  for an Asttle writing test in Week 4.  Our teacher marked all our recounts and gave us our scores. Mine came out at Level 1a  which is below the end of year standard for Year Five. Next time I need to write more ideas and use more adjectives to describe things. 

We helped each other improve them by reading each other’s recount and talking about them. We also used Revision Assistant to help edit each other’s story and Mrs B added some notes as well. Everyone in our room likes Revision Assistant because it’s easy to understand the marks/ notes that it puts on your writing and so it’s quick for us to go and do the fix-ups. We have to have practically perfect grammar, punctuation and spelling in our stories before we are allowed to publish them here. I hope someone will give me some feedback.

Ka kite ano

Me and my family went to the beach. “Yes,  we’re

there!” I yelled. I jumped out of the car. I ran

into the water. Splash!  My uncle splashed me.

 “ Aaahh!”  I shouted. I splashed him back.

“H a ha!”  I laughed. Then Mum and Uncle and I

went back home and got an  ice cream.